O Happy Day!

WOAH!!!!
Today I'm so happy!!!

With God's joy and strength,
I wrote the most satisfying EALD essays in my life!
The points for once were truly clear, systematic and balanced!
Both my essays have sufficient length.
Not the half-baked-one-half pages repeating nonsense.

The first essay to synthesis information was my best synthesis!
The Text expressed what this long supporter of Facebook couldn't.
Facebook is just an extra means to facilitate our communication.
We humans always have the tendency to think that
small changes bring about dramatic consequences in life.
Facebook users are not so stupid to make themselves virtual humans.

The second essay was about "No place like home!"
Aww... guess I was homesick.
Yet for once I wrote a well-planned essay!
Even my handwriting improved.
(except the last line i think=p)

I'm just so thankful to God for giving me a clear mind
and many others who prayed and encouraged me
so that I have a peaceful heart and mind to go for exam.

YIPPIE!
This calls for rejoicing.
Elaine texted this:
"Don't be soo happy la.
wait4results then celebrate..
could be better than u think =p"
Normally I'm doubtful about that,
but experience have proven me wrong
So I have faith that this will happen=)

The joy of the Lord shall be our strength!
Thanks God for the joy!
Need tonnes of it to overcome Chemistry tomorrow
The paper which I've never excelled in college before.
For Your glory!

P.S. Thanks Mr D!

The Results of Great Depression 1

Got two of my papers today.

Chemistry showed improvement from mid-year.
But five days of study only added five marks out of 100.
Hopefully no more deductions of marks.

App Maths I was very happy because I scored an A!
The hard work did paid off to make my cumulative to be about 40/50
One more mark from A though.

So it's hard work worth it?
All I know is that I gotta continue working hard
And leave all things to God.
By December I shall know the fruits of my hardwork?
Will it be durian? =P

Thank You Broadband!

I died today in Room 3 (where 3 in chinese suppose to sound like LIFE? proof that superstition don't work!)

There was a time when broadband deleted half of my oral exam question.
Had to mem-paiseh to ask the examiner to repeat.
Potong markah I blame you BROADBAND!

Still then I think I didn't talk enough. I was like "yeah, that's about it".
Then you hear the almost robotic "thank you" seconds after that.
Screw it screw it! (and I got quite simple questions! I just couldn't recall examples of stereotype in language) MY BAD.

Who cares? It's mooncake festival soon! eat more mooncake to relieve stress and cure depression. Probably Lin Yong or lotus paste has such function. Now I remember the English literature short story in Form 4... the LOTUS EATER! (How I wish to be one at times, away from all this stress!)

And life without Internet to do a lot of my important stuff is terrible.
But at least I get to study=)
Ish, study!

My Wonderful College BLOCKED the Internet

With the inevitable oncoming wave of globalisation where
the world becomes borderless through Tim Berners-Lee's invention
some extremely wise people have blocked such access without notification.
What a coincidence that all senior houses have no access to Internet!
And this is a time where uni applications come flooding in.
OUR FUTURE IS AT STAKE MY DEAR COLLEGE!

Probably they are making way for english oral exam
which has to fully utilise the wonderful broadband in Malaysia.

Man, it's scary to hear a voice from Australia that conducts my oral test.
Worst still they can see my panicked facial expression while I CANNOT see theirs
What if the wonderful broadband connection distorts my speech?
Deleted my important, marks-scoring points?
Tomorrow is the day 9.20 ante meridiem...
Pray people, for I'm talking to a computer alone in a room.
I'm going to go nuts!
Heard that the voice is fond of saying "Thank You! NEXT!"
aka cut off your conversation when the relevant points are coming in.
What a courteous machine!

Oh yeah, no internet means I won't be posting on my blog any sooner.
All the holidays photos are dying to come out of my hard drive!
Pray that such WISE measures will be taken back.

And I'm super EXCITED for mooncake festival this Saturday!
We can burn CK's house!!!

Great Depression Day THE END!

With Keynesian Economics,
the Great Depression days are over!
(at least for the Arts and Architecture students=p)
Engineering people all the best in Calculus!

The end of mock exams called for a CELEBRATION.
I ate with Leong, Poh Hui, Jinn Jyh, Woei Song,
Nicholas, KCV, Ah Beng in Shogun Japanese Buffet.
About RM32.50 but worth it for the time spent together.
Ate until dinner also no need to eat.
Still can feel the unagi in my stomach!
I love the porcupine style kaya pau.
Shall post the pics once I get it from Nic.
IT'S SO KAWAII!!!

For your enjoyment here are some interesting stuff
I found on Facebook during mock exam:

Ivan Ho: Le Chatelier says "When an equilibrium is disturbed, it tends to work to oppose it"... That is why you work freakin hard but still fail Chemistry!!! Le Chatelier, you are a genius!!! SCREW IT!!!! SCREW CHEMISTRY! its just the same as ur chem teacher, how much you try to work hard to get higher grade, ur teacher will set freakin hard questions to lower ur grades...

Athira: ECONS goreng..rangup lagi sedap

Jinn Jyh: Happy Last Paper Eve! (for those who takes econs, for those who take calculus, happy last paper eve eve!)

Hui Chin: horrible answers....sending men to Mars is worthwhile?? Yes, there is sexy alien. No, there is no beautiful girls on Mars...boring out there. I WANT TO FAINT DOWN!!
(My physics teacher marking exam papers)

This is laughable, but not my mock exam performance. I totally screw up Chemistry and the definition of screw up is NOT losing some marks from the perfect score but one that might be getting about 50% only. I spent a whole week studying Chemistry and it ended up like that, but I guess it'll benefit me anyway. I love Chemistry but was never my strong subject. No chemistry with it eh?

Then comes Physics with Ms Say who changed two mock questions to lower down everyone's mean. Well, she's extremely successful with it=p Ginger for the first time was panicked A BIT. I was like DEAD. Physics was like my second best subject and my dad's a Physics teacher? Hello? I blank so many questions that I doubt I can get an A for it. Plus it's 40% of internal marks. I just screw up in the most important test. Now people can see my physics is not that great, which I knew all along. There's no such thing as Physics gene!!! I emphasize.

Applicable Maths was fun, managed to do quite a lot question though with blanks. Everyone complained how tricky it was, but probably I didn't know I was tricked. Sometimes, ignorance is BLISS=p Then economics, wasn't so good, although I score like very high always, but this is mock exam. I don't expect great marks.

Okay, nobody would want to read my report of how I flunked my exams. WHO CARES? It's Calvin's exam. However, I just want to thank those who prayed for me and to Leong who through his presence and chatter indirectly encouraged me to not give up. Ei, seriously I was wondering what if I can't fly and thought of giving up studies and work. If I can't fly, I will not repeat Form 6. No more studies and information overload!

All said and done, I was glad that I was calm in the exam hall and was not too depressed. God's peace is something I treasure very much and know that I didn't hallucinate it. God sent me friends at times when I felt the down-est. So all praise back to God. I'm leaving the results to Him! Fail then fail lar, fly then fly lar.

P.S. Thinking again, flying and becoming an architect is way too taxing. Study like crazy doing CAD and then come out work like crazy till no life. I'm so not prepared for this, though becoming an architect is my dream. I want my dream to be reloaded=)

Great Depression Day 3

Today I feel very happy=)
TOTALLY NOT DEPRESSING...
Don't know how to do some Applicable Mathematics question
did not make me feel guilty at all.
I even decided to celebrate with McD Sundae Cone=)
I gave my best and managed to do a lot questions.
In fact, I felt it was the easiest paper thus far
and I gave up practicing for it yesterday.
But the marks probably will tell otherwise.

Perhaps another reason I feel happy was
that I'm going to come out of Great Depression soon!
(I purposely typed this to make the Engineering people jealous=p)
T.G.I Friday=)

For now, I just gotta read my Economics
and prepare to die tomorrow.
Thanks Chan, Tony and Jun Kai!
Long time didn't talk with you all.
Miss the times when we five go out together.
After mock sure must have one outing okay?

Great Depression Day 1

The days of MOCK-ing and great depression has finally arrived...
Totally screwed up on Chemistry,
strange thing was that I didn't panic.
Finish everything although knowing many questions wrong
after sitting with three EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT people for lunch.
Find it rather amusing and fun to hear that I did wrongly for this and that.

(Probably, I'm nuts already by now=P)

Great Depression shall only last for four days
and the we CELEBRATE!!!
Keynesian economics will bring us daylight.
Hope so with Economics on the last day...

Physics is tomorrow and I have one night to read it all.
Will miracle happen again like mid-year?
Study one night scored highest in AUSMAT...

The Not-So-Complicated Giraffe Test

Found this mail from Mun Foong early this morning

and found it to be a greater "motivation" to study more=p

Try yourself and you'll know what I mean...

[Highlight the space instructed to know the answer]

Question 1 
How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Highlight ...[ The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. ]...Here

Question 2 
How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Highlight...[ Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions. ]...Here

Question 3 
The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attended ..... EXCEPT one. Which animal does not attend?

Highlight...[ Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.  This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities. ]...Here

Question 4 
There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

[Highlight... Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. ...Here]

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the Professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers.  They say this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals do not have the brains of a 4-year-old.

(No idea this is true or not, but it's one annoying test for sure... The giraffe aka me the panjang feels so stupid taking this test...)

And talking about using your brains how about this story for a change? 

(It's time to give your poor brain a rest, don't you think so?) 

An old man lived in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who used to help him was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. 

Dear Son, 

I'm feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I am just getting too old to be digging up the garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. 

Love Dad 

A few days later, he received a letter from his son. 

Dear Dad, 

For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden, 

that's where I buried the BODIES. 

Love Son

At 4 a.m. the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. 

Dear Dad, 

Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. 

That's the best I could do under the circumstances. 

Love Son

And the moral of the story is to make full use of your brain to work smarter not harder! 

A Pot of Holes [Epilogue]

Part 1 here: [Click lar]

Part 2 here: [Click LAR!]

The end of studying?

Is it true that not everyone is made for studying?

I think it's true.

I've no idea why I study well, or at least I think I am. Probably I had good teachers, and teachers at home too. Dad's a Physics teacher who taught Ms Say my physics lecturer now, Mom's a primary school teacher who taught many of my friends from SABS, Brandon and Cho just to mention a few bright ones. However, I rarely asked my dad about Physics. I read and study it myself. Funny eh? You must be thinking I'm wasting such an opportunity that many hope to have. My mum even funnier, I helped her to even mark papers. Brandon and Cho, I marked your papers you know? That's why I knew you two before seeing your faces. I was a 12-years old teacher in training=)

From small, for no reason I loved reading. I finished an encyclopedia and read it a few times. I memorised capitals of countries for fun. I made up my own quiz books on geography and maths. I developed my thinking on books I read. In secondary school I was reading books like "Theology that Divide" and stuff that teenagers wouldn't even touched. I finished reading from Genesis to Revelation, the whole Bible at least four times. I studied Greek and Hebrew and Japanese before focusing on SPM. That sounds like a crazy genius biography...

And now the biggest catch: everyone is not made to study, including me. By "made to study", I mean "born to be genius". I did not inherit study genes or something, although I seemed to score well in Physics and English, a close resemblance to the "teachers at home". The only things were there was too much books in the house and some really caring Christian teachers surrounding me. All I have to do was explore and ask. Humans are designed by God to learn from Him and other people he has given wisdom. At the time birth, the brain is probably empty or at most contained the most basic information only. Brain cells are meant to connect, they are not "clever" in themselves.

Study is not about exams, but so tragically happen there's a need to discriminate the better ones. You might not have the best teachers, best textbooks, best study environment, but we all somehow like studying. The question is are we studying the stuff that's good for us?

The message of a pot of holes is this: There's no such thing as born genius. Every person is born on earth with the capability to study - to explore the world. And with this, humans are meant to help each other in this pursuit, that's why there are teachers and schoolmates.

I might pass or fail my mock examination, but all I know is this: I'm a pot of holes but light shine through. I'm totally inadequate, it was God and many people who brought me this far. Thank you every one!

[By the way, the word "end" in the first question of this post means "purpose or aim"]

Now only it's The End =p

A Pot Of Holes [Part 2]

If you haven't read the first part , read it here...[Click lar]

So here am I dealing with myself with the question why do I study, again...

"Die lar, this time mock exam very hard!" thus says Calvin.

Hardly anyone would believe.

"He every time also die then resurrect one."

"This JPA scholar kind of worry ar is never a worry."

"No need so humble lar. You so smart one."

Who knows the terrible inadequacy deep inside Calvin

(most of you reading this would refer the inadequacy as Calvinistic perfectionism)

but it's the same inadequacy felt by those who brush aside my comments of "DIE lar!"

One can never really put a shoe in Calvin's feelings. Never.

As I reflected upon my study life, I realised why I can study well is so little of talent, rather because of people and God.

Digging up the memories in embedded in dust, I found out that I hated studies in my primary school. (Duh, who doesn't? But not likely for a scholar whom most people project me as) I hated Chinese like no other Chinese boy. To begin with, my Chinese name was hard enough to write. 熊泽豪. Try counting the number of radicals. My BM sucks. There was this exam that has fill-in-the-blanks which I never will forget. It goes like this B_B_. Above it was a picture of strange animal I knew of, but don't know it looked like that. That must be one of the "BABI"-iest moments of my intellect. And yeah, you think my England very powderful? My mum complained my English is so Chinese and Cantonese that I was forced to cut down my Cantonese. And I HATE tenses. Till now I still make that Sarah-Sim-always-point-out-mistake, the double past tense, ex gratia: What did you said just now? (In gramm"e"r, it supposed to be What did you say just now?) And try checking all the tenses grammar in this post!

There were many times I cried over my Chinese homework and essays. Why was everyone's Chinese so good when mine sucked? Why did that detestable language had to ever exists? My dad said I fail terribly being a Chinese. My dad scolded and beat me over my naughtiness of refusing to study Chinese. The world was terrible.

Then things turned upside down: My dad threw in the biggest punishment ever, the sending to MONKEY-HOUSE, a place in Taman Teruntum where some there's a dilapidated shed with some monkeys. He threatened to leave me there if I don't change. I pleaded with him not to throw me to the monkeys and promised I'll be a good boy.

From then, I became a good boy. Seriously. Every single action I do, I behaved, even how I come down from a car. Despite a terrible of case of what people call as "child abuse" and which I still think it's wrong, I somehow changed dramatically. I took study as a good thing to do and tried to do good, but still suck in Chinese. I still get beaten at times at home, but less.

Done with my dad, my next step of change in studies was teachers. Wen Lao Shi, my first ever tuition teacher, which I urinated in her class out of fear, encouraged me much to study. Then Wang Ai Xiang Lao Shi, my form teacher for three years, forced me to learn up tonnes of Chinese with the spelling tests 听写. She taught me to love maths and I represented my little school in maths competition. Zheng Lao Shi made me love Chinese through the epic stories of San Guo Yan Yi, taught me Science in a way that develop a great way of understanding it, not blind memorisation.

This Zheng Lao Shi made the greatest impact in my life. She was the only teacher who truly cared for me and prayed over my UPSR Chinese Paper. Years later, she still remembered me. And I always remember the miracle of UPSR Chinese getting an A because of her. Chinese was stood as a huge obstacle to my complete 7As in UPSR because I never got an A before in Standard Four till Standard Six. I told Zheng Lao Shi my worries one day when I arrived early at her tuition. She said I can do it because God is there with me. Now as I think again, I've come to realise it's her prayer, not merely my efforts.

The day when UPSR Chinese came, I experienced a peace that exceeds all understanding and found that I can do the questions although the passages were tough. And those days teachers came up with their sets of UPSR answers and marked our objective papers and try to guess if their best students can get A or pass for Chinese. And how glad was I to hear Wang Ai Xiang Lao Shi said in a relieved tone that 泽豪 scored get 84 marks for Chinese Paper 1.

From then on, from the most hated subject it turned into my loved subject, not the most loved lar, but surely the most interesting one. Form 1-Form 3, I had another Christian teacher who tuitioned me Chinese, Wang Lao Shi. For God knows what reason, she emphasized so much on Chinese calligraphy which only carry 8 marks in PMR Chinese paper! My handwriting suckedenough and now handling that Chinese brush when I cannot even hold a pencil properly? You know what? I totally blew it up on my Calligraphy. It's total 鬼画符!

She still faithfully emphasized it when I don't see the significance. But being a good boy, I tried following. 逆锋起笔、横、搜笔. My strokes turned out well. Slowly and with much practice, I can't believe I actually entered a Calligraphy competition and won! Now tell me something one cannot change or learn! From smudging the 九宫格with ink to scoring almost 8 marks in PMR trial exam Chinese Calligraphy section. That's a miracle! (And Mr D, if you're reading, I'm still praying for a miracle in my English handwriting...haha. Hope you live to see it.=)

So as I reflect, it was never my intellect that brought me thus far. It was teachers and great Christian teachers that God provided, who teach tuition not to earn money, but with the purpose of teaching and helping students to understand the purpose of studying.

They stand as lights shining into a pot of holes like me...

A Pot Of Holes [Part 1]

"Ever heard the one about how light can only shine through a pot with holes? hee. God chooses imperfect people to do great things, to show how awesome He is. sounds cliche right? but here's the point i think few people think about --> have you ever thought how cool it is that in the process of showing His glory through you, you get to grow in character and skills? awesome right?"

Frankly, I suck in "preaching"... CYD people can testify to that, especially recently. Even my EALD oral skills drop like mad. I suck even in talking these few months. I'm back into the old extremely introverted, don't talk at all, hate talking Calvin. Maybe I never changed in the first place, living in a hallucination of "I'm a intro-extrovert. Not bad lar. At least halfway out of the cocoon...".

Anyway, no point dwelling on that. Today CYD discussed about studies and its importance. Today break record 20 people came!!! For the first time, we had to photocopy extra copies of study material. When you think least people come, almost gave up hope thanks to "my utterly boring 'preaching' skills driving people away" and resorted to a desperate prayer on the night before, God brings people in droves. I think I prayed too much already...=p

More people meant more tension for me. CK didn't come, so I had to worship lead. This time we have the people and volume, but it's still pretty daunting to lead in that big hall. At least the icebreakers relieved me. Then, it came for time of discussion on studies. It was such a big circle of people!!! I prayed for the best and start "crapping".

Studies to me have been "natural". I love studies. Homework and exams are obstacles I dealt with often till I'm quite confident. And yet there, with my 13 A1 reputation, I suddenly lost thought of my purpose of studying. Studying suddenly seemed meaningless.

WHAT'S MY PURPOSE OF STUDYING?

Then other questions came.

"How do you finish so much homework? My teacher gave me NINE English essays to complete in a 9-day holiday..."

"I cannot absorb anything in. Or it comes in and comes out immediately. How?"

I gave some really impractical advice. I just simply couldn't answer. I finish my homework, but sometimes I can't finish in time. I read and I absorb, but at the same time, I can't memorise certain things. And that idea of the ability to study is a talent somehow became real. I've seen enough people who put in so much effort yet still stuck there. Hard work and determination might just be comforting and encouraging words to a unchangeable reality.

Some people don't like to read books. It's hard to change, just like one's preferences for brocolli or bitter gourd. The more one forces them to read, or even themselves, finds reading even more horrible. But I somehow, don't know why, loved reading.

Some people just cannot sit still, study and memorise stuff, even with all the mnemonics and lingo, whereas for me, x = -b plus minus square root of b square minus 4ac, then divide the whole thing by 2a, or the first 20 elements in the periodic table: H, He, Li, Be, B, C, N, O, F, Ne, K, Mg, Al, Si, P, S, Cl, Ar, Na, Ca... I've no idea how my mind can key in so many elements today and it's stuck there. Yet at the same time I'm still confuse over what's brass and bronze...

Worst still is the fact that many students do not have good teachers to make them like studying. We have no student right to choose our teachers, it depends on probability to get a good teacher, even tuition teachers. One reason I realise why I studied well and love studying was because of my teachers. Okay, don't get me wrong, don't flock to Kuantan to study just because there's a higher chance of getting great teachers there. But back to the point, what if there's no good teacher to help me develop my intellect?

These are hard questions to answer. Despite what most want to believe, not everyone is made to study. Is this true? I've no idea.

[To be continued...]

Moral: Definisi?

Thus says Ms Say,

"Last time I always fail Moral

because I write what I would do SINCERELY."

"There was this question which asked,

'What would you do

if you see a piece of ten dollar note on the road?'"

"I answered truthfully (and naively),

'I will just walk past it and not pick it up

My mother tell me not to pick up money on the road

because it might be hell money for the lonely spirits.

If I take it, the spirit will follow me...'" =.="

It might be just some Chinese superstition,

but what surprised me was what her dad's reaction was

when she showed the Moral exam paper which labelled FAIL.

"Aiyoh, you must LIE one!!!"

WHAT's the definition of moral man?

Moral Education

just simply defeats it purpose

when it seemed to encourage most people to lie in their exams

to fake their moral reports of doing good deeds

to memorise a whole bunch of definitions and score well in exam

but learn little to be a good citizen.

WHAT's the definition of moral?

Then, in college you take that Moral Knowledge

it's even worse!

They throw a whole bunch of philosophical moral ideas

and let you choose which one.

For most, it leaves one in Confusionism

and repugnant to moral...

WHAT's the definition of moral...

Can't they be a little bit more

"Boleh berfikir berdasarkan alasan dan bukti yang nyata dan dapat mengambil tindakan berasaskan pertimbangan yang wajar."???

(Rasional, if you forget your definitions...)