A Pot Of Holes [Part 1]

"Ever heard the one about how light can only shine through a pot with holes? hee. God chooses imperfect people to do great things, to show how awesome He is. sounds cliche right? but here's the point i think few people think about --> have you ever thought how cool it is that in the process of showing His glory through you, you get to grow in character and skills? awesome right?"

Frankly, I suck in "preaching"... CYD people can testify to that, especially recently. Even my EALD oral skills drop like mad. I suck even in talking these few months. I'm back into the old extremely introverted, don't talk at all, hate talking Calvin. Maybe I never changed in the first place, living in a hallucination of "I'm a intro-extrovert. Not bad lar. At least halfway out of the cocoon...".

Anyway, no point dwelling on that. Today CYD discussed about studies and its importance. Today break record 20 people came!!! For the first time, we had to photocopy extra copies of study material. When you think least people come, almost gave up hope thanks to "my utterly boring 'preaching' skills driving people away" and resorted to a desperate prayer on the night before, God brings people in droves. I think I prayed too much already...=p

More people meant more tension for me. CK didn't come, so I had to worship lead. This time we have the people and volume, but it's still pretty daunting to lead in that big hall. At least the icebreakers relieved me. Then, it came for time of discussion on studies. It was such a big circle of people!!! I prayed for the best and start "crapping".

Studies to me have been "natural". I love studies. Homework and exams are obstacles I dealt with often till I'm quite confident. And yet there, with my 13 A1 reputation, I suddenly lost thought of my purpose of studying. Studying suddenly seemed meaningless.

WHAT'S MY PURPOSE OF STUDYING?

Then other questions came.

"How do you finish so much homework? My teacher gave me NINE English essays to complete in a 9-day holiday..."

"I cannot absorb anything in. Or it comes in and comes out immediately. How?"

I gave some really impractical advice. I just simply couldn't answer. I finish my homework, but sometimes I can't finish in time. I read and I absorb, but at the same time, I can't memorise certain things. And that idea of the ability to study is a talent somehow became real. I've seen enough people who put in so much effort yet still stuck there. Hard work and determination might just be comforting and encouraging words to a unchangeable reality.

Some people don't like to read books. It's hard to change, just like one's preferences for brocolli or bitter gourd. The more one forces them to read, or even themselves, finds reading even more horrible. But I somehow, don't know why, loved reading.

Some people just cannot sit still, study and memorise stuff, even with all the mnemonics and lingo, whereas for me, x = -b plus minus square root of b square minus 4ac, then divide the whole thing by 2a, or the first 20 elements in the periodic table: H, He, Li, Be, B, C, N, O, F, Ne, K, Mg, Al, Si, P, S, Cl, Ar, Na, Ca... I've no idea how my mind can key in so many elements today and it's stuck there. Yet at the same time I'm still confuse over what's brass and bronze...

Worst still is the fact that many students do not have good teachers to make them like studying. We have no student right to choose our teachers, it depends on probability to get a good teacher, even tuition teachers. One reason I realise why I studied well and love studying was because of my teachers. Okay, don't get me wrong, don't flock to Kuantan to study just because there's a higher chance of getting great teachers there. But back to the point, what if there's no good teacher to help me develop my intellect?

These are hard questions to answer. Despite what most want to believe, not everyone is made to study. Is this true? I've no idea.

[To be continued...]